I have to give it to the spammers out there. They are starting to get a little more clever. I receive BUCKETS of spam every day. Everything from “Male Enhancement” solutions to “The BEST BUSINESS INVESTMENT SOLUTION IN THE WORLD.” sure… don’t we all
Lately, though, I’ve been receiving an email from someone that has actually done a little homework. Or at least they “seem” to have done their homework… Check out the email below:
Immediately, the subject line, “Are you a chef?” caught my eye. Thinking to myself, “Hey, I call myself ‘The Brand Chef,’ so maybe they have some relevance to me. Maybe I should read on.”
Then, I get into the body of the email and it says they may have “job leads for chefs.” Of course, this is where I start thinking to myself, “But I don’t need a job as a chef; I want marketing communications leads.”
But wait… They said “after checking out {my} website…” Well, that gives me hope that they truly know who I am and what I need… so I read on. Only to be disappointed.
Now, let’s see what they might have done wrong…
First off, they didn’t actually address it to me… I would have accepted “Andrew, Mr. Clark, Chef Clark” or anything that might have signaled that they actually KNEW who they were talking to. That information is easy to find, even for spam bots. OH, and let’s not forget the fact that I’M NOT AN ACTUAL CHEF! I only play one on the interwebs…
So, Why Not Delete The SPAM And Go On With Life?
The real reason I write this is that YES, spammers are getting more sophisticated. Instead of blasting emails to anyone and everyone, they have research and demographic focus and they’re starting (scratching the surface) to use it quite well.
I post this because I actually had a client that received the SAME email (of course addressed to THEIR online brand), and they forwarded it on to me asking if they should respond because, “it sounds like a pretty legit offer…”
Sorry, client. By clicking through and even looking at their site, the spammers won. It may have been a very small victory, but they received a “click-through;” a measurable sign that what they are doing is working.
Sure there is the obvious spam that you just delete before finishing the subject line, but as I mentioned above, they’re getting pretty clever.
So, my warning to my client (and to all of you) : “Please read thoroughly, ALL emails that come across your monitor, phone, whatever, for signs that it’s spam BEFORE you click through to their site – or to some executable virus or worse…”
Keep Cooking!
Andrew B. Clark
The Brand Chef*
*DISCLAIMER:
Although he LOVES to cook, Andrew B. Clark can in no way legally or otherwise officially consider himself a chef of the culinary arts. This name is for personal branding purposes only and by no means is intended to imply or misdirect people or persons into believing otherwise. Now, Andrew DOES cook and does so quite well (so his family tells him) so if you ARE looking for a “Culinary Chef” he may be able to “Pose” as one. But please do not assume that glazing salmon or tenderizing a chicken breast makes him “Chef-Worthy.”
Have you ever wondered how I became The Brand Chef? It’s not a story I tell often, but in a recent interview with Johnny Wright (Twitter: @unsecretshopper), better known as The UnSecret Shopper the TRUTH was revealed.
The request came out of the blue (proof of building a good personal brand), but after a few Twitter direct messages and a phone call-or-two, I decided Johnny had some great things to talk about and was very interested in learning more about The Brand Chef, marketing strategies and generally what I do… (go figure).
In 19 short minutes, we covered everything from marketing strategies, social media marketing, customer service (which Johnny is brilliant at, by the way), and we even talked a little about how I became The Brand Chef!
Here’s a link to his post of his full 1-hour show. Or you can listen to just my interview below.
Again, I’d like to thank Johnny Wright for taking the time and giving me the honor of being on his show. It was a great conversation and I look forward to hearing / seeing more from him in the future!
Keep Cooking!
Andrew B. Clark
The Brand Chef
Johnny Wright can also be heard on 1350 AM, KRNT radio in Des Moines Iowa. Every Saturday at 8 AM. Check it out!
Myopic Manager:“Something that will get us noticed.”
Worker Wendy:“For what, sir?”
Myopic Manager:“You know. Something catchy and, what’s the word? VIRAL!”
Worker Wendy:“Viral, sir?”
Myopic Manager: “Yeah! Put it on FaceTube! That’ll do it!”
***
There are so many things wrong with that conversation, I can’t begin to list them. But this was a summarized dialogue a friend of mine recently had with her employer. It seems as though, after 25 years in business, “said employer”finally purchased a ticket to the 21st century and realized he was wearing a suit made in 1989 – you know, padded shoulders, thin, cotton tie… the whole enchilada!
The inspiration for this time-traveling adventure came from a growing collection of customers asking why they couldn’t find their favorite “widget” on the Internet. They couldn’t find their website. They couldn’t “Like” their FaceBook page. Heck, if they didn’t get up off their butts and walk through the door, they couldn’t tell the company was actually still in business!
“So, where do you start?” she asked me. And that’s where my “Mr. Marketing and Branding” persona jumped out – somewhat abruptly…
“Are you kidding?” I shot back at her. “Your company is nowhere near ready for Facebook, YouTube or social media marketing. Why don’t reign in Michael J. Fox over there and start with basic TRUE Branding?”
I explained to her that TRUE Branding was the road-map to where her boss wanted to go. They needed to discover the truth about their company – the who, what, when, where and why of their brand and brand community (‘cause they obviously have one). Then they needed to do some deep research to find out what made their company / brand relevant to their brand community. After that they needed to focus on what made them unique in that community. If there was ten other “widget” makers in the vicinity, what were unique propositions to going to their shop? And finally the needed to figure out where that community spent it’s time engaging their brand. Obviously they needed a stronger Web presence, but were FaceBook and YouTube really going to be where the best engagement would take place?
I’m sure, by the end of our conversation, my face was red and the veins in my forehead resembled what that road-map may look like. But the takeaway was put perfectly when she called up her employer and said, “Sir, we really can’t skip steps when it comes to TRUE Branding and marketing. Let’s take a strategic look at what where we want to go and then my friend Andy can come by and work with us to get there”
I know this comes off as a bit of a rant, but there are a lot of companies out there that are still behind the curve when it comes to social media marketing. It isn’t so much using the tools of social media like FacebookYouTube, Twitter and LinkedIn, but the brand and marketing strategy that powers these tools. And it’s going to take time and a lot of thought to get that road-map to the future figured out.
Contrary to what Michel J. Fox and Steven Spielberg told us in 1985, time travel is NOT possible; the flux capacitor hasn’t been built yet; Delorians won’t withstand the pressure of time travel; and Doc Brown is just another wild-eyed pedophile in an Einstein wig and lab coat.
But I digress.
Could I have taken my friend’s company (and their money) and thrown together a FaceBook page and a few videos for YouTube? Sure. But I wouldn’t have been doing my job as The Brand Chef if I did it without TRUE branding and a strategic road-map. And they wouldn’t have seen results from any of it – making us all look stupid.
Just to sum up… You can’t jump from 1989 to 2010 with the simple activation of a Twitter account. Research, plan, integrate and engage with social media AFTER you’ve figured out where your brand should be going within the marketplace. Then make a commitment to staying up-to-date with your brand, your industry and your community.
Until Next Time (within the next 25 years)…
Keep Cooking (timely, relevant branding decisions.)
Andrew B. Clark
The Brand Chef
So, today I decided to expound on the social media world’s fascination with BACON.
Yep, Bacon! It’s the American blogger’s food-porn aphrodisiac. If it came between naked pictures of Kaley Cuoco(Penny on “Big Bang Theory”) and bacon, I truly worry that the bacon would get more views. Maybe Kaley’s photos would have a lower bounce rate, but that’s a whole different blog (and innuendo)…
Anyway! I honestly can’t go a single day without seeing a tweet or a post or a photo(notice the bacon bra?) of something to do with bacon. It’s everywhere!
So, why bacon? Why? WHY!?!
1. Bacon Emotes True Passion - Starting out with the obvious, bacon is… FREAKIN’ bacon!
You can whisper “I have bacon” in a crowded room and it’s pretty certain that you get a glorious, harmonizing response of “yummmmmmm…” similar to those Tibetan Deep Throat Chants. (video)
that aside, the draw to bacon is so powerful, some retailers and hotels have been branded JUST by the bacon they serve! I’ve read of entire restaurant menus dedicated to bacon, but to have an endorsement like this,
“if Bacon had a God he would live at The Roger Smith Hotel!” – Chris Brogan
makes an impact for bacon’s case that knocks you off your feet.
2. Bacon Has Spanning Relevance - While I really don’t need to go into the origins of bacon, I would assume that it took some grunting relative of ours about 10 seconds to figure out the salting and curing of the fatty back parts of pigs turned a generally disgusting part of the animal into one of the most succulent slices of meat human kind would ever stumble upon. It can be fried, diced, baked, grilled and even made into ice cream. So how can bacon NOT be relevant to every social and economical demographic under the sun?
3. Bacon Is Ultimately Unique – It has a taste like no other meat product. It’s kind of a cross between glazed ham and beef jerky. The sheer individuality of bacon makes it the most utilitarian meat source on the planet. And just try to search for “Bacon Recipes.” You’ll be reading (and drooling) for days…
4. And Bacon Is Soooo Engaging – How can one food, one simple, solitary slice of meat become the biggest meme of the 21st century? How can bacon, a fat, salty slice of cholesterol become more consistently popular than Justin Bieber or Britney Spears put together?
Let’s just put it this way, have you ever been unhappy eating bacon?
UH OH… look what I just did…
Can you hear it? Sizzling like fat on a 400˚ griddle… my branding brain did it again.
Even when it comes to writing a silly post about the popularity of bacon, I pull in the TRUE Branding formula. It’s inevitable. When it comes to branding, like bacon, there has to be truth, relevance, uniqueness and engagement.
I haven’t asked pork producers but this could all be a big conspiracy to sell more pork product, but I’m sure they’re not complaining.
How would YOU like your brand to have the fan base bacon has? Imagine having your brand, your product, your name associated with everything personally rewarding and ultimately sinfully satisfying as bacon.
Try it.
Keep Cooking (until it’s crisp and satisfying.)
Andrew B. Clark
The Brand Chef
And with a hat tip to my blogging buddy @AdMavericks(Josh Fleming) I give you another tribute to BACON!
I don’t mean to fire another shot at the marketing community in the U.K., but…
What the heck are the marketers for the London 2012 Olympics committee smoking?
VIDEO:
Sorry about the auto play… (Notice the kids giving the Nazi salute to them? WTH?)
To have such a prestigious organization adorn your city would be an honor to last a lifetime. But it seems like the folks marketing for the occasion have taken the opportunity and turned it into a Duran Duran meets The TeleTubbies on LSD experience.
Let me back up about four years… If you haven’t read it yet, I did a blog post(June 2006) about the incredibly ill-conceived logo designed for the London 2012 Olympics. Saying:
“I’m saddened when I think of the world’s athletes that have put so much effort and time into achieving the honor of competing in the Olympics having to walk around the Olympic Village slathered with a logo that looks like they just got back from a Duran Duran concert.”
And now the marketers have launched a campaign to show off the new mascots. All I can say for them is at least they’re consistent.
Good Lord, They look like the love child of Timothy Leary and TinkyWinkie! I’m thinking the Aztecs saw this for 2012 and just decided to end it all there. What the heck would be the point of living after that?
Marketing in a Vacuum?
Normally, in these horribly off-the-mark situations, I’d point my finger at some self indulgent agency or myopic company trying to be “cutting edge” without the first hint of research or understanding of the target market. But according to The Telegraph UK, the chairman of the London Organizing Committee, Lord Coe and his marketing group spent 18 months and did over 40 focus groups in preparation and development of these atrocities!
40 FOCUS GROUPS?!?
What did they do, design them AND THEN hold focus groups until they found someone to say they liked them?
Here are a couple more images that come to mind when I see these mascots:
At least Vancouver 2010 Mascots related to the region and didn’t scare the hell out of people…
Stephen Bayley, the prominent design critic, said: “What is it about these Games which seems to drive the organisers into this cretinous infantilism?
“Why can’t we have something that makes us sing with pride, instead of these appalling computerised Smurfs for the iPhone generation?”
“If the Games are going to be remembered by their art then we can declare them a calamitous failure already.”
I mean c’mon, if one of the biggest design critics in your country says they suck, shouldn’t you reflect on the direction you’ve taken?
So, what is the London 2012 Olympic committee to do? It’s too late to start over. It’s too ugly to ignore. Is this a public relations issue now? Can they make this all make sense somehow?
The real reason I write this is that YES, spammers are getting more sophisticated. Instead of blasting emails to anyone and everyone, they have research and demographic focus and they’re starting (scratching the surface) to use it quite well.
Let me back up about four years… If you haven’t read it yet, I did a blog post 
