Feel that? It’s your life slipping away. Yep. Every second of every minute that you spend reading this post, you’re slowly dying. Breath by breath, each heartbeat with each syllable, you creep closer to the end.

oooooooooh….

Pretty ominous, huh? So, why the dark perspective? Well, this is what got me writing tonight. It’s what motivated me to pick one more juicy word from my mental nostril just to see what it looked like.

In other words, I had writer’s block.

It kills me every Wednesday night. While I’ve known all week that I have a personal deadline set to post every Thursday morning; I wait until Wednesday night (or later) to actually start writing. I take notes, jot ideas, scribble and doodle all week, but when it comes to Wednesday, I open TextEdit and just sit.

CRAP…

Suddenly, tonight, a voice in my head said “What the hell are you doing? Just start writing, you moron!” So I did. I wrote, “You’re going to die anyway.” and POW, the words started rolling.

Many (many) moons ago, I wrote a post about having writer’s block. More to the point, I wrote about the keys to getting the writing wheels out of neutral and making a connection with my readers. For me, it starts with a title. It can be anything – like free association. Eventually the words and images start connecting in my brain and the solution reveals itself.

I wrote:

“… All I want is a headline – a short sentence that would communicate something about YOU or about something you want to discuss… Below are a few examples…

‘Without feathers, I’d never…’
‘But I can’t feed my kids on your wisdom’
‘Forget the President, I want to eat Jell-O’
‘The importance of Balsa wood and Miller Lite.’
‘It’s not Rocky Science’

And so on… and so on…”

Unfortunately, the response was less than stellar…  maybe because I’d only just begun blogging and Drew McLellan was the only one that ever read my posts?  Who knows? But he was gracious enough to leave me a comment. And I dropped the ball… (sorry Drew)

So let’s try it again.

Send ‘em in. Post your headline and your name / contact info in the comments section below. Once I have enough (5-7 or more…) I’ll hold a contest to see who’s headline will be the start to a future blog post – AND THEY’LL BE VOTED ON BY YOU!

Maybe we’ll make a connection and create something the whole world will love. Maybe we won’t and it will be another piece of gravel on the shoulder of the information super highway. If anything, it will be a way for me to get to know some of you.

Hell, we’re all going to die, eventually. We might as well have fun while we’re here. I look forward to reading your headlines…

Keep Cooking (free-wheeling, fun ideas…)
Andrew B. Clark
The Brand Chef

I’m a HUGE Paul McCartney fan.  If you follow my “Get-Going Groove of the day” tweets, you probably figured that out.  But I remember when I first read the rumors of Paul McCartney’s early demise. It was in a retrospective in Rolling Stone magazine (here’s some current news from them about the Beatles) when I was just a kid discovering my own musical pulse.  I think I was 11.  And to hear that Beatles fans – no, the entire world thought that Paul had died just prior to the release of the monumental Abbey Road album completely blew me away!

And it all turned out to be a hoax!

One of the first disc jockeys to give the story “credibility” was Roby Yonge of WABC-AM in New York (Now a vehicle for Don Imus… ick). Listen to him talk about the beginning of the roumors here, in an aircheck from Oct. 21, 1969, found on the Musicradio 77 site.

Yonge was later fired on the air because of the commotion he raised talking about this.

The next day, it was picked up by American Contemporary Radio, and it gained even more ground.

Now, of course, if you’re not privy to the hoax, you can read all about it.  It has it’s OWN WIKIPEDIA PAGE! So, If I don’t sit here and recount all the “clues,”  please forgive me. (honestly, you don’t have the time…)

Over the years, there have been magazines published and books written, including “The Walrus Was Paul: The Great Beatle Death Clues” by R. Gary Patterson and “Turn Me On, Dead Man: The Beatles and the ‘Paul Is Dead’ Hoax” by Andru J. Reeve.  And Des Moines, Iowa’s own Drake University was one of the first known publications to print stories about “Paul McCartney dying and being replaced by a look/sound-alike.” Really?

The fact that some people ever took this seriously is astonishing. … but I’ll try NOT to let my “Fanboy” passions get in the way of the reporting.

As Paul McCartney said at the time,

“The people who are making up these rumors should look to themselves a little more. There is not enough time in life. They should worry about themselves instead of worrying whether I am dead or not.”

Yet, even after Paul (or someone alleged to be him) appeared in LIFE magazine and said he was alive, the rumors persisted. And I wouldn’t be surprised if there were a core group of folks who still think seriously about this today.

So, what makes a hoax as effective as the “Paul is Dead” rouse pulled on millions-upon-millions of unsuspecting music fans?

So how do you spot a hoax? The type of hoax usually determines what characteristics will be present. However, some general tips for spotting a hoax include:

1. The information presented is one-sided or the claims can only be validated by one or two people – this includes Alien, UFO or Bigfoot sightings.
2. There are usually no references to back up claims – this is often used in internet and e-mail related hoaxes. The person or company referenced is often made up, so there is no valid contact information provided.
3. Appeals to the emotions

Hoaxes and jokes can get out of hand; just ask Paul McCartney’s publicist (what a nightmare THAT had to be).  Could the Beatles’ brand have been damaged by the hoax?  Sure.  But as history shows, album sales SKYROCKETED.  While some conspiracy theorists say it was for THAT purpose the hoax was started; I tend to disregard that P.R. move.  For the Beatles it would have been too risky.

So, on this April Fool’s day, use common sense. Look for the signs that you’re being “put on.” And be prepared to laugh at yourself.

Oh… and your shoe’s untied…

Keep Cooking! (fun and frivolity for everyone)
Andrew B. Clark
The Brand Chef

Hello, my name is Andy…  I’m a Social Media Addict. (all together now…  Hellooooo Andy!) Can you see it – some big, mental-ward-like facility filled with a circle of gray, plastic chairs…  smoke hanging heavy in the air like some support group meeting (enter Nurse Rached)?  Is this what we’ve come to?

Sure.  I AM a social media addict.  I’m also a procrastinator.  I’m a last-minute Marty.  If I have 12 hours to get a post written, I’ll start it on the 10th.  If I have a week’s worth of vacation, I start planning events on the 5th day of it… (like now) It’s a sickness…

And then entered SOCIAL MEDIA…

(Da, Da, Duuuuuuuuuuuummmm!)

The BIG time-waster…  How was I going to read or educate myself / my family / my clients when there was Farmville and Mafia Wars to manage? Who was going to manage my clients’ marketing plans, media buys… OH THE HORROR…

I had tweets to read! Now I’m REALLY going to get behind…

I say, “Horse pucky!”

Social media and productivity CAN go hand-in-hand. As a matter of fact, they can help support one-another.

Six years ago, I read maybe a book a year (maybe).  Today I read about a book a week (give or take the occasional audio-book on the way into work). Can I attribute that to social media?  Not entirely, but I can say, if I didn’t start educating myself pretty quickly (reading, researching, engaging) I was going to be left behind!

Social media works.  You just need a plan.  You need to be diligent about tasks that make you “productive” versus distractions that make you “mush.”

So, how do I manage in intake of information with my propensity for procrastination?  The answer is simple. Tasty, bite-sized, manageable “Edu-tizers.”

Instead of taking on books, movies, articles as a “gotta-finish-it-all-right-now” type Mega Meals, I’ve taken my diet of books, newspapers, magazines, social media and television (yes, I still learn from television) and broken it all up into small, but frequent portioned snacks that I take in throughout the day.

Appetizers to Edu-tizers…  easy to remember and fun to say…

Yes, just how your trainers tell you to maintain higher metabolism with food intake, I’m doing the same with media, social media and education. With this approach, I avoid the mind-numbing coma of a 200 page marathon read or a 2 hour span of The Discovery Channel to more manageable segments of information that my brain can digest and still be nimble enough to move on throughout the day. I also avoid hours upon hours of social media time-wasters… (you know who you are).

Simple? So, how do you start?  Or better yet, how do you cut back to a manageable level?

Below I’ve listed a few “best practices” that have worked for me.  It’s better to set up your own program, but maybe this will help those that can’t seem to manage time and intake with logic and diligence.

#1 Where book stores and libraries fall short, there’s social media!
SHOCK, GASP! — okay get that out of your systems.  I buy books – at least one every week.  But the social media wave/tsunami has hit.  If you’re not in a boat that floats or at least a dingy with a good compass, you’re going to be left back in the devastation.

There are volumes upon volumes of information being put out into the social media waters every day.  Why not tap into the biggest wave of information known to human kind since the discovery of spoken word? When I can’t get my “fill” from books, television or any number of publications at the local magazine rack, it’s just a click and search away.  You just need to be willing to look. It takes less time than you think.

#2 – All good things in moderation! (VERY IMPORTANT)
Facebook, MySpace, et al have their attractive (and addictive) features, but remember that social media is about the sharing of information.  If you spend hours a day on one site, you’re bound to lose contact with your productivity, your interests, your LIFE.  Diversification is key!

I use Facebook (for instance) strictly for social and business-social communication.  I get on to post what I’m up to, to learn what friends, family members and coworkers have going on in their lives, respond (only if necessary), and then I move on (about 10 minutes of my day).  No games. No surveys. No nonsense.

#3 – You must feed the monster.
I had a professor that, during the first week of classes, would get to know which students over-engaged (raising hands on every question, writing 20 page compositions instead of the requested five, etc. – you know ‘em…), and then, for the rest of the semester would ignore them. Why?  Because it was his intention to drive the conversation to those that needed it the most. The quiet ones.  The ones that sat in the back of the auditorium hoping to learn through osmosis (me).  If you don’t participate in the conversation, you’re not going to get anything out of it.

With that professor in mind, I spend about a half hour each day (often more) sorting through blog posts or comments that I intend to add value to (sometimes marked days/weeks before to come back to later).

Is it presumptuous to think that what I have to say is important enough to post it to someone’s blog or Facebook page?  Heck no! That’s what SOCIAL media is all about. With that single post or comment, I’ve started a conversation that will, in turn, further the learning process and be of value to both parties.  Does it happen every time?  No.  But for those that really know how to engage, they are some of the most educational conversations I’ve had since… college!

#4 – Find your “Happy Place” (then file it away).
When I first started this “journey,” I subscribed to every feed and every alert under the sun.  From “Bob the Australian Cat Wrangler” to “The Marketing Gods of Melrose Place,” I wanted to read it all!  But I learned one important thing…  time is an unforgiving bitch!

Sure, I’m “friends with” or “connected to” thousands of people via social media, but I have no question that I can’t absorb all of the conversations going on at all times.  Nor would I want to. I honestly couldn’t care less about Bob from Australia’s cats and the huge dingo they devoured last night (okay, maybe THAT would make me pause).

Break your input streams up into logical lines of conversation. While I have access to thousands of stories, I only read the ones that will make a difference in my life, my career, my well-being.  So, I have my feeds broken up into the following categories:

• News
• Branding
• Marketing
• Leadership
• Management
• Education
• Personal Fun
• Music
• Photography
• Feed-Specific (generally client-based)

The only categories I read (thoroughly) every day are “News” and “Feed-Specific.”  Otherwise, I skim, mark for future research or commenting and I move on.  This takes me about a half hour every day.  It’s a great way to start the day and a great way to wake up my brain.

#5 All posts have their place:
The social media waters get pretty muddy from time-to-time.  It’s constantly churning and dredging up things that, well, just don’t need to be seen / read / heard.  Think of it this way, if you don’t want “it” displayed on a billboard in the middle of the town square, delete, delete, delete!

Do I use Facebook for business?  Certainly.  But I separate what I do for my company and clients from what I do personally.  Don’t bring your work home with you and don’t bring your home to work with you.

***

God knows how many blogs / online publications I read on a yearly basis (right now, my Google feed reader has 1,373 RSS feeds pumping knowledge through my keyboard and into my brain…).   And without social media, I wouldn’t be able to provide my clients (or my family) with the quality information and support that I do today.

Don’t get me wrong, social media can be a slippery slope. But with the right plan and just a little discipline, you can make it work for you.

How does your social media diet stack up?  Are you a lean, mean fighting machine or has the weight of the social media tsunami washed away all hope? (please make the metaphors stop)…

Hope to see you in the social media stew!

Keep Cooking!
Andrew B. Clark
The Brand Chef

Who says Rambo offers nothing more than some ripped deltoids and a glistening chest bathed in baby oil?  Who says Rambo, the American military anti-hero of the 1980′s and beyond, offers nothing of importance — or remotely educational?  Who ever said he would never give us anything good for branding fodder?

Okay, probably a lot of us…  But, I was watching “Rambo: First Blood Part II” this afternoon and a powerful, yet understated scene caught my branding eye.

It was meant to build some romantic foreshadowing, but in an (almost) unexpected tender moment, I watched as über-stud, Rambo, explained to Co Bao (Julia Nickson) how he found himself heading into yet another predictable mêlée.

Rambo: “…to survive a war, you need to become war.”
Co Bao: “Is that why they pick you? ‘Cause you like to fight?”
Rambo: {mutter} “mwaauhhm…  I’m ‘EXPENDABLE.”
Co Bao: “Expendable.  What mean ‘expendable?’”

And then, the most powerful analogy I’ve ever heard rolled eloquently from Sylvester Stallone’s twisted, razor-thin lips…

Rambo: “It’s like…  someone invites you to a party and you don’t show up…” {Wait for it} “… it doesn’t really matter.”

Of course, the movie goes on and Rambo proves that he’s in no way, shape or form (so-to-speak) expendable.

(VIDEO—Feed readers and Facebookers, click here to see the video snippet…)

If anything, through great character development by David Morrell, Kevin Jarre, Stallone and some unknown by the name of James Cameron; Rambo epitomizes the TRUE Brand criteria that I so often talk about.

Rambo’s TRUE Brand:

Truth/Transparency: He is a patriot.  That’s all.  He knows only black and white truth and honesty.
Relevant: The writers made sure that Rambo’s relevance was central to all (four) in the series.  In Rambo II, it was Vietnam POW’s that, in 1985, were STILL struggling to be heard and recognized for the terror and hell they had and were still going through.
Unique: C’mon, man.  How much more unique can you get.  Rambo was the first live-action G.I. Joe with a 1980′s, Reagan-era “We’ll kick-your-ass-now-and-ask-questions-later” attitude.
Engaging: Budget… $44 million…  Earning: $300 million (And THAT’s just part 2!) If Rambo didn’t engage his audience, his critics, his enemies, I don’t think Sly would be considering doing Parts 5 and 6…

Expendable…  Not-so-much.

How does your brand stand up to Rambo’s “Expendable” brand?  If someone invited you to a party and you didn’t show… would it matter?

Food for thought.  Or as Rambo would say… “Whouul-ih-murur?”

Keep Cooking & Happy New Year!
Andrew B. Clark
The Brand Chef

This post is for my fellow Midwesterners that have, over the last 60 hours, braved the cold, wind and driving snow from one of the worst blizzards seen in this area in almost a decade.

Last time Iowa had snow like Tuesday and Wednesday’s storm was 1992. I was still cuddled warm in my dorm room at Coe College and didn’t see the need to venture out in the gale winds.  We had plenty of TopRamen,  plenty of Keystone Light, and cable television to keep up safe, warm and entertained for the two days we were snowed into our dorms.  Heck, I didn’t even need to shower if I didn’t feel the urge (although roommates made it evidently clear that one was needed.)

This time, circumstances were different. I’m now a “bonafied” grown-up with responsibilities like a family, home, and a real job.  I have a mortgage to pay, I have children to protect and keep warm and fed.  I even have a dog that needs to be cared for – a long leap from the last blizzard that crippled the area.

So, how did I get through it this time?

Winter-time brands, baby…

Here are 16 brands I’d like to thank for getting me through “Death Storm 2009:”

• Jeep – My trusty Liberty was sideways a few times, but that was probably operator error … probably?
• Toro – Without my trusty snow blower, I would STILL be shoveling through the 4′ drifts.  I *heart* Toro!
  
• Old Navy – “Economical” Winter coat…  ’nuff said.
  
• Thinsulate – mmmm…  toasty warm snow pants for the kids (and dad).
• Encore Movie Channels – what a great way to decompress from 4 hours of pushing snow…  some mindless classics (Die Hard, Step Brothers, and soooo many more…)
  
• Cartoon Network & Nickelodeon – although the kids spent most of the time outside (crazy!)
  
• Apple Computers – without = SOCIAL MEDIA PANIC…  No blog Posts!  No Twitter? No Facebook? The end of civilization as we know it!  Cats and Dogs living together…  complete, mass-hysteria!
  
• Pillsbury – two words: Christmas Cookies!
  
• Pork – The Other White Meat – The kids and I made “home-made” pizza… Between you and me, nothing goes better on pizza than oodles of Italian pork sausage!
  
• Skittles – Can you say “Taste The Rainbow?” and, no they didn’t go on the pizza… dessert…  ?
  
• TownHouse Crackers – a perfect part of a late-night snack… (kickn’ Web site as well!)
  
• Shullsburg Cheese – and what else to top those crackers?  Say Cheese!  And they’re a Midwestern brand to boot!
• KCCI TV8 – my favorite weather tracking team…
  
• Iowa DOT – the folks in those big, yellow trucks that kept burying the end of my driveway… but I’m DARN glad they’re there to get the city moving again!
• Aspercream – ’cause I’m not 18 any more… (OR: go out strong and don’t let them see you limp back in.)
  
• Serta – the best way to end the day…
  

So, by the list, you can pretty much tell what I did over the last 60+ hours.  Brands defined my day…

What brands did you depend on to make it through the storm?  Were there some that you counted on more during the storm than any other day (Toro, Aspercream)?

Here’s hoping you all are happy, safe and warm. Just think…  this Winter just started.

Keep Cooking (warm thoughts)!
Andrew B. Clark
The Brand Chef