Who says Rambo offers nothing more than some ripped deltoids and a glistening chest bathed in baby oil?  Who says Rambo, the American military anti-hero of the 1980’s and beyond, offers nothing of importance — or remotely educational?  Who ever said he would never give us anything good for branding fodder?

Okay, probably a lot of us…  But, I was watching “Rambo: First Blood Part II” this afternoon and a powerful, yet understated scene caught my branding eye.

It was meant to build some romantic foreshadowing, but in an (almost) unexpected tender moment, I watched as über-stud, Rambo, explained to Co Bao (Julia Nickson) how he found himself heading into yet another predictable mêlée.

Rambo: “…to survive a war, you need to become war.”
Co Bao: “Is that why they pick you? ‘Cause you like to fight?”
Rambo: {mutter} “mwaauhhm…  I’m ‘EXPENDABLE.”
Co Bao: “Expendable.  What mean ‘expendable?’”

And then, the most powerful analogy I’ve ever heard rolled eloquently from Sylvester Stallone’s twisted, razor-thin lips…

Rambo: “It’s like…  someone invites you to a party and you don’t show up…” {Wait for it} “… it doesn’t really matter.”

Of course, the movie goes on and Rambo proves that he’s in no way, shape or form (so-to-speak) expendable.

(VIDEO—Feed readers and Facebookers, click here to see the video snippet…)

If anything, through great character development by David Morrell, Kevin Jarre, Stallone and some unknown by the name of James Cameron; Rambo epitomizes the TRUE Brand criteria that I so often talk about.

Rambo’s TRUE Brand:

Truth/Transparency: He is a patriot.  That’s all.  He knows only black and white truth and honesty.
Relevant: The writers made sure that Rambo’s relevance was central to all (four) in the series.  In Rambo II, it was Vietnam POW’s that, in 1985, were STILL struggling to be heard and recognized for the terror and hell they had and were still going through.
Unique: C’mon, man.  How much more unique can you get.  Rambo was the first live-action G.I. Joe with a 1980’s, Reagan-era “We’ll kick-your-ass-now-and-ask-questions-later” attitude.
Engaging: Budget… $44 million…  Earning: $300 million (And THAT’s just part 2!) If Rambo didn’t engage his audience, his critics, his enemies, I don’t think Sly would be considering doing Parts 5 and 6…

Expendable…  Not-so-much.

How does your brand stand up to Rambo’s “Expendable” brand?  If someone invited you to a party and you didn’t show… would it matter?

Food for thought.  Or as Rambo would say… “Whouul-ih-murur?”

Keep Cooking & Happy New Year!
Andrew B. Clark
The Brand Chef

Walk in to virtually any ad agency and you’ll find ‘em.  They’re usually in distressed jeans, flat, cordovan shoes with an un-tucked shirt and strategically ever-so-slightly messed hair.  Male, female… doesn’t matter, the only difference may be the thickness of stubble above the neck.  They make themselves known by their piercing stare as you bring your client in and sit them on the opposing side of the shiny, oak-veneered conference table.

I’m taking about “brand experts.” They seem to be multiplying like rabbits on Viagra.

In a matter of minutes, these eager little bunnies assess the client’s brand, their marketing, the company culture - down to how the phone is answered, and determine that the only path to redemption is to spend close to the nation’s national debt on a generalized rebranding “system” they conjured up years ago when “brand” became the new hot word in marketing.

To the clients: Any agency, consultant or semi-related industry individual that comes to you with a pre-developed formula for rebranding your company is selling you a bill of goods that will only perpetuate and exacerbate more trouble.  Put your checkbooks away and walk run away.

To the “experts:” Just so you’re aware, we see you.  Here are 5 things everyone should know about YOUR brand (in broad, generalities to make it easy for you to follow).

1. Joan Rivers looks “great,” but is still one crazy chick…
   Superficial “rebranding” like reworked logos and stationery won’t solve deep branding issues.  A face lift, a nip here or a tuck there won’t make what’s at the core of the brand any different. So, put away your spec creative and mounted ads and listen for a second.
2. Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery…  it’s also called “LAZY.”
   What BBDO did for  company A won’t apply to company B.  If you can’t come up with an original idea on your own, then you need to get out of the “idea generation” biz.  Branding is different for each-and-every company and person.
3. Magic is for children and idiots…  just ask David Copperfield.
   Smoke and mirrors, baby.  Even David Copperfield (called an “illusionist’) can’t really make an elephant disappear.  So, let’s address the true elephant in the room.  If you can’t deliver on your branding promises, then don’t blow smoke up our skirts.
4. The proof is in the pudding…  but proof alone tastes like crap.
   One-hit rock stars, fly-by-night consultants…  all have a single claim to their “FAME.”  But part of making a great meal is marrying ingredients that, one alone, may put a pucker in your puss.  If you have the acumen of a seasoned group of marketers along with strategy, compassion and concern for the client, the taste will always work out in the end.  In other words, get a few under your belt before you try to claim the title.
5. The louder you crow, the more you look like a… rooster.
   Some of the best practitioners I’ve been involved with have been soft-spoken and understated (that goes for ANY trade).  If you walk into the room like you’re the most important person there, then you’ve already put the client into a subordinate position.  Why would they want to work with that looming over them?  Just drop the ego.

Sure, I call myself “The Brand Chef” but that, by no means, makes me an expert on your brand.

What does it mean?  Like a chef, I work with a team of proven professionals and use the tools of the trade (marketing communications, design, photography, interactive strategy, etc.) to build a TRUE brand for our clients.  There are no pre-packaged recipes for branding.  There is no secret formula. With research, listening, conversation, strategy and honesty, we guide our clients to the best solution for brand marketing possible.

If that’s too simple for you, then give a “Branding Expert” a call.  We’ll be here to pick up the pieces when it all comes crashing down.

Keep Cooking!
Andrew B. Clark
The Brand Chef

This post is for my fellow Midwesterners that have, over the last 60 hours, braved the cold, wind and driving snow from one of the worst blizzards seen in this area in almost a decade.

Last time Iowa had snow like Tuesday and Wednesday’s storm was 1992. I was still cuddled warm in my dorm room at Coe College and didn’t see the need to venture out in the gale winds.  We had plenty of TopRamen,  plenty of Keystone Light, and cable television to keep up safe, warm and entertained for the two days we were snowed into our dorms.  Heck, I didn’t even need to shower if I didn’t feel the urge (although roommates made it evidently clear that one was needed.)

This time, circumstances were different. I’m now a “bonafied” grown-up with responsibilities like a family, home, and a real job.  I have a mortgage to pay, I have children to protect and keep warm and fed.  I even have a dog that needs to be cared for – a long leap from the last blizzard that crippled the area.

So, how did I get through it this time?

Winter-time brands, baby…

Here are 16 brands I’d like to thank for getting me through “Death Storm 2009:”

• Jeep - My trusty Liberty was sideways a few times, but that was probably operator error … probably?
• Toro - Without my trusty snow blower, I would STILL be shoveling through the 4′ drifts.  I *heart* Toro!
  
• Old Navy - “Economical” Winter coat…  ’nuff said.
  
• Thinsulate - mmmm…  toasty warm snow pants for the kids (and dad).
• Encore Movie Channels - what a great way to decompress from 4 hours of pushing snow…  some mindless classics (Die Hard, Step Brothers, and soooo many more…)
  
• Cartoon Network & Nickelodeon - although the kids spent most of the time outside (crazy!)
  
• Apple Computers - without = SOCIAL MEDIA PANIC…  No blog Posts!  No Twitter? No Facebook? The end of civilization as we know it!  Cats and Dogs living together…  complete, mass-hysteria!
  
• Pillsbury - two words: Christmas Cookies!
  
• Pork - The Other White Meat - The kids and I made “home-made” pizza… Between you and me, nothing goes better on pizza than oodles of Italian pork sausage!
  
• Skittles - Can you say “Taste The Rainbow?” and, no they didn’t go on the pizza… dessert…  ?
  
• TownHouse Crackers - a perfect part of a late-night snack… (kickn’ Web site as well!)
  
• Shullsburg Cheese - and what else to top those crackers?  Say Cheese!  And they’re a Midwestern brand to boot!
• KCCI TV8 - my favorite weather tracking team…
  
• Iowa DOT - the folks in those big, yellow trucks that kept burying the end of my driveway… but I’m DARN glad they’re there to get the city moving again!
• Aspercream - ’cause I’m not 18 any more… (OR: go out strong and don’t let them see you limp back in.)
  
• Serta - the best way to end the day…
  

So, by the list, you can pretty much tell what I did over the last 60+ hours.  Brands defined my day…

What brands did you depend on to make it through the storm?  Were there some that you counted on more during the storm than any other day (Toro, Aspercream)?

Here’s hoping you all are happy, safe and warm. Just think…  this Winter just started.

Keep Cooking (warm thoughts)!
Andrew B. Clark
The Brand Chef

Can you say your brand is unique?  Can you say you’re a pioneer?

It seems like a simple concept, but when it comes down to it, it takes a commitment to a TRUE brand.  Often times people ask what it takes to become “viral.”

My answer:

“You can’t  Being “viral” is entirely based on the community you’ve created…”

Here’s a great example:

(Facebookers and feed readers need to click here to see this great video.)

Okay, maybe they’re all stoned.  But they all seem to be “drinking the same Kool-Aid” - tainted or not.

This guy’s belief in his unique value inspired others to engage.  Can you say your brand is this infectious?  How can you make it so?

Keep Cooking (unique ways to engage your audience)
Andrew B. Clark
The Brand Chef

Having worked in the restaurant industry through most of my adolescence and into my early 20’s, I was well aware of the old adage that went something like:

If a single upset customer tells 10 friends about an unsatisfactory experience, it’s conceivable those 10 friends could perpetuate that report to another 10… and so-on, and so-on… eventually damaging the restaurant’s brand bad enough to put it out of business.

Or, as Máma Brandcheffio said:

“Piss off one customer and you’ve lost 100…”

So, at a very young age, I was forced to learn two very important aspects to marketing.

1. Word-of-mouth marketing is very powerful.
2. The customer is always right.

WHAT? The customer is ALWAYS right?

Máma Brandcheffio used to tell me:

“Even if the customer is wrong, THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT.”

Even at 15, that concept incensed me.  Today it seems like a complete disregard to human civility (See last week’s post) and is entirely defeatist in nature.

Luckily, I came to my senses.

Chew on this:

Originally, one disgruntled customer could, with good effort, affect the opinions of 100 others with their own word-of-mouth marketing.  In 1983, that was a pretty big deal. With 100 potential customers talking about poor service or a fuzzy hamburger bun, over several days, maybe months, the reputation of the restaurant could be damaged enough to warrant inspections, improvements or to be ostracized out of business all together.

That was 1983 word-of-mouth. (Yawn)

Today, our “upset” customer can take a photo, text a gripe to their iPhone or Tweet it to thousands or tens of thousands before your gazpacho reaches room temperature! If “viral” enough, those thousands can make an instantaneous decision to re-tweet it to their lists reaching thousands more!

Word-of-mouth marketing has reached light speed!

Restaurants, from local and regional to major chains, are taking a “more than cautious” approach to social media marketing.  They want to make sure it’s not a “fad” before jumping in.

Have they lost their minds? Maybe in 1983 that’d be okay, but this is 2009!

Not only are social media tools like Twitter and Facebook the fastest growing user-based tools on the Web, they have moved the “Customer is always right” paradigm entirely into the customer’s control, forever altering the approach to marketing communication and public relations.

Restaurants may not want to get involved in a “marketing” sense, but can you imagine how fast they will have to scramble when the “Chris Brogan” of the restaurant industry sends a damaging Tweet or photos of one of their cooks, in uniform, picking their boxers out of their ass as they walk into the kitchen?

Mmmmm, appetizing…

To put it simply, social media WILL affect your restaurant. Ignoring it is not an option for today’s restaurants, no matter what size.

It’s better to use basic social media tools and participate in a brand management program.  Otherwise, you can watch your brand (and your future) carried away in the beak of that ubiquitous little blue Twitter icon.

Food for thought.

Andrew B. Clark
The Brand Chef