So, I picked up an issue of Advertising Age (actual print *gasp*) last week and slowly perused. On the cover article, reading,

“Brands aren’t simply brands anymore. They’re the center of a maelstrom of social and political dialogue made possible by digital media…”

as an opening quote from Jack Neff’s article about Unilever CMO, Simon Clift.

Further, this was a direct quote from Clift while speaking at Ad Age’s Digital Conference - a conference (I assume) full of brains MUCH bigger than mine. And to think of it, bigger than Simon’s as well.

Ouch? Why insult Mr. Clift, you say?

Although sage advice, Simon Clift had a room chock full of marketing communications and advertising GENIUS, and he pukes out a statement like that? What the heck was he thinking?

I can only imagine the room groaning and writhing in their seats as he muddled through his “theories” about how social media and consumers are taking brands under siege - and that corporations, managers, and marketing ilk alike had better watch out!!!

Well, he’s only about 2-years late with that opener… is he just now getting it?

I think so…

About a year ago, I wrote a post (somewhat disturbing) about making bad branding decisions; and that, in time, social media would determine the success of a brand. Can you guess who the branding agent was I picked on? Mr. Clift’s very own UNILEVER!

In that post, I wrote a scathing opinion of Unilever’s choice of using ragged, skank-pop star, Madonna as a role model for one of their shampoo lines; stating,

… here’s a warning to Unilever. Madonna is a Brand Mess. Like a hair stuck in the back of your throat, she’s simply… ACK!

And there you have it… Ack and all…

If you were at that conference, wouldn’t you like to have more relevant information? More timely?

As a reader of the article, I certainly did…

How about HOW corporations should use social media for extension and definition of their brands? How about creating a discernible link between the need for social media as a Public Relations tool? (of which he touched on)

I’m sorry for the rant, but as an avid reader of Advertising Age and a HUGE proponent of social media in branding, I found this article and Mr. Clift’s theories to be pandering and, honestly, boring.

So, when faced with the opportunity to speak to your professional peers — the movers-and-shakers of your industry; if you can’t be unique, at least make sure you’re timely, truthful, relevant and engaging…

Just a little advice…

Keep Cooking!
Andrew B. Clark
- The Brand Chef

This morning, I posted a question, via Twitter.

“If your life had a soundtrack - like a movie - what would be the opening song? What would be the song running with the credits?”

I had a lot of responses, both on Twitter and from my Facebook status, but the question really got me thinking.

What would the soundtrack to my life really sound like?

Of course, I’m a branding advocate. I believe that your story should BE your brand. And as one of my past posts suggest, “iPod, Am I,” I took that simple tweet one step further and extended the parameters to score my entire life (to date)… My musical brand?

Before we continue, please understand that emotion and history both weighed heavily while outlining this soundtrack. I’m currently dealing with a very ill family member and believe that that has affected some of this… But it’s interesting to think about what my soundtrack would hold (today).

So, here it is, “Andrew B. Clark – The Musical 2009”
(Must be played in order. Many tracks I’ve linked to my Last.fm account and you can listen to them by clicking on the play button in the upper right. Others are from YouTube… ENJOY!)

Opening Credits:
“Singalong Junk” Paul McCartney

‘68 - ‘77 - The Clark Family (A.B.):
“California Dreamin’” The Mama & The Papas
“Heaven on Their Minds” from Jesus Christ Super Star (play the video in the body of the page)
“Joy To The World” Three Dog Night
“These Dreams” Jim Croce
“Home Again” Carole King

Intro: Huss & Family:
“Heard It Through The Grape Vine” Marvin Gaye
“We Are Family” Sister Sledge

Andy Clark
(’68 to ‘78) Childhood:
“Lonely Boy” Andrew Gold
“Popcorn” Hot Butter
“Smoke On The Water” Deep Purple

(’78 to ‘81) Adolescence/Pre-teen:
“Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey” Paul McCartney
“Hotter Than Hell” KISS (from 3rd grade… mom loved this one)
“Frankenstein” Edgar Winter

(’82 to ‘87) Junior/High School:
“Turn Me Loose” Loverboy
“Our House” Madness
“Oh Yeah” Yello
“Radio Free Europe” REM

(’87 to ’91) College/Young Adult (Boston):
“The Lovecats” The Cure
“Rickover’s Dream” Michael Hedges
“We Are In Love” Harry Connick, Jr.
“Scuttle Buttin`” Stevie Ray Vaughn & Double Trouble (OMG!)
“So Much To Say” Take 6
“Dance To The Music” Sly & The Family Stone

(’92 to ’94) Young Adult/Early Married:
“What Is Hip?” Tower of Power
“Everybody’s Talkin’” Nilssen
“Kissing A Fool” George Michael
“You Can’t Fall Up (You Just Fall Down)” Tower of Power
“Hey Blue” Tony Rich Project
“Roll To Me” Del Amitri
“Hello” Oasis
“Vasoline” Stone Temple Pilots

Husband and Fatherhood:
“Apples And Bananas” Raffi
“Higher Ground” Red Hot Chili Peppers
“Hello Goodbye” The Beatles
“25 or 6 to 4” Chicago
“In 3’s” Beastie Boys
“1, 2, 3, 4” Plain White T’s

*** although I’m not quite dead yet ***

Closing Credits:
“Black Bird” The Beatles (…the Paul-solo version)

Of course, tomorrow, this could all change. That’s what life, and personal branding is all about. I can’t wait to hear what’s in store for the next act…

What’s on your life’s soundtrack?

Keep Cooking!
Andrew B. Clark
The Brand Chef

“Oh my God, that was the most boring presentation I’ve ever had the ill fortune to attend. And I really wanted to know more about {enter subject here}…”

Have you ever said anything like that? Have you ever picked up a brochure or searched out a specific topic on the Web with the intent of REALLY getting down to the exciting details and discovering relevant information? Have you ever arrived at that site, to virtually fall asleep from the presentation (or lack thereof)?

You were the PERFECT prospect. How did they lose you?

I posted a tweet a few days ago that went something like this: “She spoke with such monotone timbre that the only thing that made her unique was MY interpretation of the narrative. I fell in love…”

It was the seed of this post, but I couldn’t put my arms around why I was so absorbed with the statement. I was obsessing. I wanted it to live… I had passion for it, but I couldn’t explain why.

So, this morning, when I saw a presentation called “The Art & Science of Seductive Interactions,” by Stephen Anderson (Twitter: @stephenanderson), I realized where this post was supposed to go.

Treat the content within your marketing collateral as if it were a personal conversation with your ideal customer. Connect on a personal level. Whether it’s your brochure, Web site, tear sheets, advertising, or even a business card (or a Tweet), make it seductive. Create a conversation that not only interests you, but also speaks to the interests, the desires, the heart of your target audience.

How do you create that passionate brand advocate out of a prospect? Rewards? Curiosity? Sensory experiences? Teasing? Playing “Hard to get?” Reputation? Social acceptance?

It’s all seduction…
(Feed readers and Facebookers, click here to view the presentation)

So what of my tweet? I deleted it. It died before I had the chance to create a seductive reason for you to care about it. But I’m still in love with the idea.

Until Next Time…

Keep Cooking!
Andrew B. Clark
-The Brand Chef

So, last week I went on my first “real” vacation in 15 years with the explicit instructions from my wife NOT to think of work… no blog posts… no tweets… not even updates to my Facebook profile. WAH?!?

So, what did I do?

Well, besides the obvious tanning, eating, sightseeing, drinking, and overall carousing; I observed. I observed multi-cultural interaction. I observed marketing from a global perspective. I observed everything from federal highway infrastructure to tourist stops, restaurants, bars, parks, airports, and hotels trying to position themselves as THE #1 category leader in… whatever it is they do... It was astounding. It was intimidating.

And then, it started to bother me.

See, I live in the heart of the heart of the middle of the United States. And for us, diversification is a completely misunderstood concept…

Sure, we have some great marketing communications firms in the Midwest. Sure, we have some great agencies that handle many of the biggest brands in the world. So, why is it that when I got back to the Midwest (not even out of the airport) did everything that once said “global community” suddenly turn into middle class, middle aged, white, rural men… vanilla in a rocky road world?

Demographics. Focus groups. Statistics.

So, let’s bring it back home… Iowa is diversifying. FAST. And from what I see in all channels of marketing in the Midwest is more of the same - more of the past. Do we really have our fingers on the pulse of our community (let alone the world)? I don’t think so.

After reading the book Chasing Cool, by Noah Kerner and Gene Pressman, I was exhilarated by the thought of “taking a step to the left” and becoming (or getting my clients to) that #1 or the iPod of the industry. But for some reason it didn’t ring true until I saw it happening outside my little world… while on vacation, I learned that most of the Midwest is still “Chasing Cool.”

So instead of a great tan… instead of a suitcase full of Mickey Mouse ears and statues of astronauts; I came away with wider eyes. I came away with renewed expectations from my industry. I came away with questions.

“Why does it have to be so difficult to create a brand with such a UPS that it breaks the barriers of global blandnation (my word) and stands on its own as the brand of choice?”

Or… How do we change the fact that there’s 500 freakin’ channels on and nothing to watch…

Do you have any answers? ‘Cause, I don’t think it’s going to come from one source (any more).

What does middle America do to create a UPS for itself? How do we compete in a market that is rushing by us at the speed of light?

Food for thought…

Until Next Time,
Keep Cooking! (unique positioning for yourself and the world)
Andrew B. Clark
The Brand Chef