PETA.

Sometimes that’s enough to understand why I titled this post as I did. But yesterday I read Jack Neff’s article in Advertising Age and simply had to comment.

It seems as though PETA Exec VP Tracy Reiman sent a letter directly to Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, the hippy-dippy originators of (Unilever’s) Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream (yeah that Ben and Jerry) requesting Ben & Jerry’s switch their cow’s milk based product to… Hold on to your hats… HUMAN BREAST MILK!

Yep. Human. Yep. Ice Cream.

Ms. Reiman defended her point, stating,

“The fact that human adults consume huge quantities of dairy products made from milk that was meant for a baby cow just doesn’t make sense… Everyone knows that ‘the breast is best,’ so Ben & Jerry’s could do consumers and cows a big favor by making the switch to breast milk.”

First, I just had to say “ACK!” As an avid Coffee HEATH® Bar Crunch fan, I was irritated and thoroughly offended. Then I had to think about the impact of the request and the subsequent article. I had to laugh. Maybe - just maybe – PETA and Ms. Rieman aren’t so dense.

Let’s look at it from a P.R. standpoint.

Yes, based on the buzz rolling ‘round the Internet, PETA has created a swarm of simple publicity. Just Google “Ben & Jerry’s” and the first page has more than a half-dozen of links to articles and blogs about the PETA request.

A-ha. They got PETA links to show up under a Ben & Jerry’s Google search.

Now, Google search PETA. I see one link, and it’s an article from the Toronto Star calling this “PETA’s New Stunt.”

And just look at the ire being allied at AdAge…

Positioning, name recognition and buzz…

Now, without getting into the base factors of good Public Relations; research, objectives, programming and evaluation (R.O.P.E.), I’d have to guess PETA’s request was less of a heart-felt plea for Vermont’s cows and more of a divisive P.R. stunt to garner name recognition and positioning in their ongoing, myopic campaign.

Did PETA do their homework? ‘Dunno. Maybe that wasn’t necessary. But simply considering it takes 12 gallons of cow’s milk to produce one gallon of ice cream, I don’t think we’ll see a lot of ladies lining up in Vermont for the job (not to mention young men applying for herd management positions). Ouch.

And with that thought, can you think of any mass-produced product – for human consumption – made from a derivative of the human body? C’mon, PETA, think it through. Anything?

So, is this just myopic ignorance or a strategic PR stunt? What do you think?

Until Next Time,

Keep Cooking
Andrew B. Clark
The Brand Chef

Remember back, just a few years, a cartoon with Daffy Duck where he pulls his tail feathers up and exposes, emblazoned in all its glory, the WB logo – smack dab on his protruding rump? As a kid, (and admittedly, even now) I thought a logo on a duck’s butt was hilarious – I guess that’s why the creatives at Warner Brothers took that particular visual route. It certainly left a lasting impression (no pun intended).

Now, with a quick leap to the present, you may ask, “Why this walk down memory lane?”

Well, in a few days, we Americans will be able to look at virtually any cut of meat and see something similar — a label that says where the meat came from!

Laughing yet? No kidding… Starting Sept. 30th, manufacturers and grocery stores must comply with a new federal law that requires “Country of Origin Labeling,” or C.O.O.L., on beef, pork, chicken, lamb as well as some perishable items, such as fruits and vegetables and a variety of nuts. You can read more here.

Some say this will enable consumers to avoid food that, just as an example, comes from countries that they have heard have food safety problems. It also will allow consumers to stick to American-grown food, if that is their preference.

Without getting into the logistical details, there have been a slew of comments running around the Web for and against this new guide. I’ll leave my opinions until I hear a bit from you, but some of the buzz is centered around:

Its accuracy: What about the beef industry that is very well known for importing and combining cuts from other countries in their ground meat and hamburger patties?

Its safety: Some safety groups have hailed C.O.O.L. as a necessary step toward broader education; while at the same time complaining that the Department of Agriculture hasn’t defined the law narrowly enough (e.g. many foods classified as “processed,” such as mixed frozen vegetables, are exempt from the law). So, frozen peas are to be labeled, but frozen peas-n-carrots aren’t?

Its authenticity: According to the Chicago Tribune, many in the meat industry fought C.O.O.L. because,

“…they don’t want consumers to know that they’re buying imported hamburger and beef cuts.”

Its cost: According to Lloyd Day, head of the USDA’s Agricultural Marketing Service, they opposed the law,

“because of its projected impact on consumers and its estimated cost to the food industry: $2.5 billion in the first year.”

Hmmmmmm… A marketing and PR mess? … Food for thought?

In any case, Congress pushed ever forward and after an arduous six-year battle, C.O.O.L. takes action on Sept. 30, so the debate over its merits is largely over.

Or is it?

“We don’t know exactly how it’s all going to work,”

said Colin Woodall, the executive director of legislative affairs for the National Cattlemen’s Beef Association.

“And we won’t know until it’s fully up and running.”

So, what do you think of C.O.O.L.? Is it COOL? Is it bureaucracy? Is it for you? Chime in. Does Congress need to explain this to consumers a bit more?

Let’s get this conversation boiling and find out if you want your rump labeled “COOL!” COOL?

Keep Cooking!
Andrew B. Clark
The Brand Chef

I have seen some pretty heavy-handed attempts at networking. I think we’ve all experienced it, from telemarketers to Chamber functions and “that guy” that just won’t back down.

Over at The Society for Word of Mouth, Ulla Jones offered up a simple, yet profound slogan to remember when you’ve found yourself in these networking opportunities, “Share don’t Scare.”

If you click on this link, you can read some of the comments/conversation that followed.

From my experience, it’s not so much about spewing your mission statement out there and then force-feeding it to everyone in the room – or even one person. It’s more about building a relationship and a TWO-WAY conversation about commonalities you may (or may not) have with the other person. Make an introduction that causes the other person to ask more and leave it there. (Engage them…)

Here’s a sample of how I open a conversation:

“Hi. I’m Andrew Clark. I work with a marketing communications company where I get to cook up TRUE brands as The Brand Chef…”

Ultimately, this leads them to ask more (e.g – “What the heck is a Brand Chef?” or “TRUE Branding, what’s that?”).

I can then comfortably work in to how TRUE branding is an acronym for True, Relevant, Unique and Engaging… Or I could tell a story about how our marketing and communications company is a lot like a professional kitchen - a place where delicious brands are cooked up for patrons using unique ingredients to spice up their brand.

Once the dialogue is started, then it’s your duty to engage, not preach. Find out what they do and where their interests/pain points may lie. And for God’s sake, let them talk. And don’t forget to listen.

That’s just my approach. Sometimes I get some sideways looks, but most of the time it creates an interesting conversation. And isn’t that all we’re really after?

Keep Cooking!
Andrew

Yesterday I turned 40. Yep. On September 3rd, 1968, at 8:20 p.m., a much younger, less gray A.B. and Jane Clark screeched into Mercy Hospital panting, sweating and screaming because their newest son, A.B. Jr. (never stuck) was about to join the world. Habited nun/nurses shushed my mother and assured her that everything was going to be fine and proceeded to tell my father to go to yonder waiting room and have a cigarette. It was 1968.

“No, really,” my mother demanded, “he’s coming NOW!” And the whole world began to spin. So, the Nuns shuffled my dad off to a smoky waiting room and the elevator was called.

In a flurry of screaming, cussing, crying, kicking and faith, there I was – too impatient to wait for the elevator, let alone a Doctor. And within my first few independent breaths, I looked up at my mother, with a swollen, tender gaze and smiled at her. Then I began to poop.

Beautiful. “sigh…” Now, that’s how the story has been relayed to me – give or take – 39 times over my life.

Last night, the story was told for the 40th time. But this time it had a different audience. Sure, it was still the same, old story; but this time it was directed to my own children – 6, 9 and 13. As they listened to a much longer version (every agonizing moment), their eyes grew larger. They gasped when I told them that the umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck and my entire head was purple from lack of oxygen (maybe some foreshadowing to my future?). They looked at me in astonishment as I told of the race against time to get the fragile newborn up to the neonatal unit and into the nursery incubator before it was too late. And finally, when I dropped the punch line, they laughed, rolled their eyes and batted at me with their open hands when the story was over – just like I had with my mother every single time she told it.

My son raised his head and with huge grin said, “I’ve GOT to tell that to my teacher!”

“Poo” jokes go over pretty well in my house.

Why do I tell you this story? Because it’s part of my personal brand and it’s my birthday and I can do whatever I want.

Really. I’m 40 and I hate/love it. Back in November, I wrote a short list of what I was thankful for, and I’d planned on doing that here (“40 reasons I’m glad to be 40” was the working title). But as I thought about it, my Thanksgiving list still applies. So this story stays…

40 or not, this post is about stories - the tale of our lives that define who we are. From a branding standpoint, your story is your brand. All good stories have peaks and valleys. All brands have good and bad. So as you look back on the story of your brand, maybe you can find some good tales to pass on to your employees. Pass them on to your clients. Pass them on to your children – for once the story is told, the recipient becomes part of it and it will live on forever.

I can’t wait until conferences…

Keep Cooking!
Andrew (the old fart)